Ca$hing In

I have nothing against mindless consumerism, full-blown capitalism or the freedom of speech. However, there is one person on this planet that has me convinced we'd be better off in Stalinist Russia.

Ke$ha. She of the dollar sign in her name, and of 'tick tock' fame. You know, she sings like she talks, which gives you an spine-chilling idea of what a conversation with her would be like. She fails miserably as a singer. She sounds like an airhead from a show like The Hills. She fails as a songwriter (assuming she writes her own songs, which is unlikely. But then she fails to choose decent songs.) I could barely tolerate this bimbo when she burst into our lives with her 'bottle of Jack'. Then I had to put up with 'Your Love is my Drug', which made me wish heroin (or some other incredibly addictive and destructive chemical) was actually her drug. And, lastly, she fails as a human being. Putting herself out into the world proudly for the next generation of girls to look up to and boys to lust after is just plain wrong.

And now there's 'We R Who We R'. You can witness humanity's certain downfall yourself in her new video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXvmSaE0JXA) Her glitter-caked, spaced-out eyes, the nose ring, the crucifix-earring in one ear, all the gold and the kitsch glitz. And the lyrics. Oh, for shame. From 'You don't wanna mess with us / I've got Jesus on my necklace' to making up words 'Looking sick and sexy-fied'.

It's, like, me, only sexy-fied.

And if I wanted to listen to a blonde attention-whore, Lady Gaga is by far the cleverer and more talented of the two. She at least gets that while bubblegum pop is brainless, it doesn't have to mean your fans are brain dead.